Entering the unknown.

I held LittleM close to my chest and looked up at the midwife, “will it hurt?” I asked, my voice trembling.
It was time for LittleJ to make his entrance but my body was still reeling from pushing out his twin sister and he was not planning to greet us head first. I looked down and took comfort from LittleM snuggled on my breast and through gritted teeth pushed as I was told, bottom first they pulled him out. No sound.
“Quickly dad, cut his cord!”
Immediately I saw a tiny blue body whisked straight into the arms of the waiting paediatricians.
“Is he okay?”
“He’s fine.”
More was said but I couldn’t hear a word as my eyes followed him, willing movement and sound. Through the bodies in the room I saw glimpses of my mystery baby under the yellow glow of the warming lamp, doctors fussing, an oxygen mask, seconds…and then a cry! They rubbed him down, he was covered in blood and LittleJ was brought to my chest. Two deep eyes stared into mine. In a moment, the gruelling pregnancy and intimidating diagnosis was left behind as my heart became infused with awe, love and fear.

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