To the mum who feels she’s not enough for her children.

This morning I grappled with the ever present cloud of mum guilt that seems to permanently hover around the horizon of my thinking. Sometimes I’m strong enough to push them back, other days they gradually float in until everything feels gray and I’m just not doing enough. I don’t hold the twins enough, I don’t give my older girls enough time, I should be baking more, cleaning more, exercising more, reading more, going on more outings…

I knew there would be plenty of articles online, and affirmations via social media that I was enough, that a mum’s main job is just to love her children etc…but as I got ready for the morning feeling somewhat exasperated, I paused and a gentle whisper within me said, “that’s right, you’re not enough for your children, and you never will be.” This might sound like another insecurity, but it wasn’t, I knew where this whisper came from because it blew away the guilt I was feeling, it blew away the worry I had and brought peace instead.

No one person is enough for what I need – what a burden that would be to carry, so why do I expect to be enough for my children, the only one who can fill the gap between our needs and our human relationships is a relationship with God. So I stopped what I was doing and I prayed, “Lord, please fill the gap between what I can give my children and what they need.” And with that I surrendered them to someone who loves my children more than I ever can.

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